Clip That Tie! – Closing Your First Sale

Waiting to make decision

No matter how long you’ve been in the sales game, whether pounding the proverbial pavement in the outside world or “smiling and dialing” on an inside-sales phone crushing mission. There’s always one day in every salesperson’s career that truly stands out above the rest. This is the day you get to ring that bell, (literal or metaphorical). This is the day your sales manager grabs those orange handled scissors, and you get that mother fuckin’ tie clipped. This, is the day that you’ve closed your first deal, made  first sale.


For those not in sales but have that burning desire to control their own goddamn destiny and stop putzing around in that financial glass ceiling of customer service or HR, this is the moment that makes it all worth-while.


This is the moment that you look back on 30 years later while pondering your illustrious career and say, “That’s when it all started!”


We’ve all been there. You’re finally going over the contract with the first person desperate enough for your product or service. They are so desperate that they completely overlooked you fumbling over every other word like a 3rd string running back on the NFL’s worst team.


Not only that, but you had them on hold or had to get back to them 3 different times so you can reference a “more experienced” expert for the answer. (More like you’ve only been with the company for two weeks and have no clue about selling. You are desperately asking your boss to feed you the rebuttal that you haven’t practiced at home like you were instructed to on day one).


Your heart is pumping. You are profusely sweating out of every pore of your body, most notably your neck since you’ve finally succumb to the fact that the tie/collared shirt combo is not optional. This is the same shirt and tie that you so desperately despised last year in your final semester of undergrad where beer bongs flowed more than library sessions. The day-time weapon of choice was flip flops and sweat pants as opposed to the $40 G.H. Bass and Co. outlet dress shoe purchase that you finally caved on.  


Your rate of speed in conversation has tripled and you have no fucking clue that it’s even happening. Your sales manager sees you looking like a lost puppy, desperately scrambling around with your script in hand. You’re praying that there is some instruction on it that tells you the next thing you should do. She throws a post it note on your desk in her shitty chicken scratch handwriting that says “Breathe. Slow down. Keep composure. YOU GOT THIS!”

It’s at this moment that you take a step back and realize that you do fucking have this!!


The fact that you have no clue what part of the agreement your prospect is even looking at on the other end of the phone or other side of the table doesn’t even matter. The only thing you remember from your 3 day “so-called” sales training is that….

it doesn’t matter what you say, it’s how you fucking say it!


As you watch that John Hancock find it’s way across the line at the bottom of the last page, you burst with a feeling of absolute adrenaline-induced satisfaction. There is only one thing that excites you more than spending that commission at happy hour before you even see it. It’s the pride-filled response from mom and dad after you text them the second you step foot outside the office!

Welcome to sales. You’ll never look back!



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